


Nightmares

by EstelweNadia



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nightmare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 00:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2832311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstelweNadia/pseuds/EstelweNadia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When will Ren's nightmares ever come to an end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skyepie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyepie/gifts).



Part One:

Ren bolted upright on his bed with a strangled gasp. Desperately trying to calm his thundering heart, he was suddenly aware of tears running down his cheeks in rivulets, and he wiped them away clumsily.

"... completely useless..."

"... no future..."

" ... go away... we're busy."

"... I don't like you..."

Trembling, Ren climbed out of his bed, uncaring of the comforter that slid off his nude body as he rose shakily to his feet. He dressed quickly, then hurried out of the room...

... and into the storm.

~~~~~~~

Part Two:

Is it even possible to drown in the rain? Ren wondered dazedly.

Maybe he could. Maybe if he opened his mouth to the rain, or maybe if he lied down on the ground long enough, the rain would eventually rise up and pull him down under.

Why? Why would those hurting words from his past haunt him until now? Papa was long dead, and Ren didn't even live with his brothers anymore, and he and Hijirikawa was on good terms now so why...

"... completely useless..."

"... you've got no future.."

"... go away... we're busy..."

"... I don't like you. You disgust me."

Ren slowly fell to his knees into the mud, shoulders quaking in silent sobs.

[Stop it... Please... Stop...]

~~~~~~~

Part Three:

Ren looked somewhat different today.

Quieter.

More subdued.

And even his smiles lacked their usual brilliance.

Tokiya frowned.

As if knowing that Tokiya was scrutinizing him, Ren immediately plastered a careless grin on his face.

And even then, the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I know I'm irresistible even to you, Ichi," Ren teased, with his signature wink.

Tokiya snorted, completely not amused. "Tch. You wish."

He meant that to be an offhand remark, but Ren's face still fell, and in that split second Tokiya could clearly see the painful insecurities flitting across Ren's pools of deep blue.

Then they were gone; back under the mask.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later, then," Ren said brightly, "STARISH meeting at two, right? Usual place?"

At his imperceptible nod, Ren turned, and started to walk away.

"Don't be late!" Tokiya called after him.

Without looking back, Ren lifted a hand in a casual, dismissive wave.

And Tokiya's quietly foreboding feeling stayed on.

~~~~~~

Part Four:

As the day dragged on, Ren found it even harder to maintain his usual facade.

Goodness, he had never known it would be so tiring to be himself.

His carefree, flirty, flippant, easy-going self.

He watched wanly as the other STARISH members discussed animatedly among themselves. He wished to be a part of it, but lacking the energy to.

A shiver wrecked his frame.

Damn. He should have known better than to spend the entire night in the downpour, but...

"Ren?"

Ren blinked, belatedly realizing that seven pairs of eyes were looking at him expectantly.

Ren grinned, smoothly sliding his mask back into place.

And he returned gamely to the 'stage'.

~~~~~~~

Part Five:

In the darkness Ren sat alone, frozen, shaking, crying.

Another night, another nightmare.

"Papa, why do you hate Mama?"

His father had swung a hand, hitting him so hard he had fallen to the floor; cheek stinging, lips bleeding, heart hurting, eyes crying.

Even now, Ren could almost feel the phantom pain lingering on his cheek.

Like the night before, Ren stumbled to his feet, dressed clumsily and lurched out of the room.

His mind was in turmoil of memories he was desperately struggling to suppress; his heart was a storm of emotions he never wanted to feel ever again.

He needed space. He needed air. He needed to get out of the place that reminded him of the very thing he wished to forget.

He needed to...

"Jinguuji?!"

~~~~~~~ 

Part Six:

Tokiya was taking his time walking back to his own room after his nightly vocal training when he saw a disheveled figure stumbling about in the semi-dark corridor.

His eyes widened when he realized who it was.

"Jinguuji?!"

It was Ren, but in a state Tokiya had never seen him before; mussed hair, rumpled clothes, and his face...

Pale. Distraught with despair and grief. His eyes, wide and scared and desperate.

"Ichi..." Ren whispered, his voice sounded so lost and broken, thick with unspoken pain.

Alarmed, Tokiya steadied Ren with both hands, gripping his biceps tightly. "Oy, Jinguuji... Are you alright?!"

Heat. Tokiya could feel unnatural heat seeping from Ren's thin shirt, into his skin. Tokiya let go of a hand to hold it against Ren's forehead.

Ren was burning up.

~~~~~~~

Part Seven:

"Jinguuji," Tokiya tightened his grip on his classmate, "You're burning up!"

"Let go," Ren struggled weakly against his grasp. "I need to..."

"Rest," Tokiya finished for him firmly. "I'll bring you back to your room."

But Ren only renewed his struggles. "Don't want to... go back..."

Tokiya was aware of the strained relationship between Ren and Masato.

"Fine," he acquiesced. "My room."

Ren paused to look at him. His eyes, glazed with fever, and Tokiya was troubled that they weren't focusing properly.

"How about Ikki?" Ren whispered.

Tokiya hoisted Ren more securely against himself. Closer to Ren, Tokiya could feel the feverish heat more keenly.

"Otoya's not in tonight," Tokiya told him, staggering slightly under Ren's almost dead weight as he made his way back to his room. "He went back to his orphanage home and won't be back until tomorrow. Come on."

Realizing that Ren had gone still and silent beside him, Tokiya walked faster.

~~~~~~~

Part Eight

Tokiya gently lowered Ren on his bed. The older man was shaking like a leaf during a thunderstorm, and the fever that engulfed him was worrying.

"Stay here for awhile," he told Ren. "I'll be right back."

He got up to leave, intending to fetch some fever meds, glass of water, something, but Ren caught hold of his arm. His grip might be weak, but it was firm enough to make Tokiya stop to turn around to look at him.

"Stay," Ren whispered, "Don't leave me. Please."

"But..."

The look of utter hopelessness on Ren's face shocked him into silence.

"I'll be alright," Ren tried to smile. "Just... stay with me..."

Tokiya sat down beside Ren, allowing him to hold onto his hand and, after some reluctance, laid another hand on Ren's hot forehead.

Ren whimpered slightly at his touch. It was heartbreaking.

"Alright, I'll stay," he relented. "I'll be here with you."

\- To be Continued (?) -

**Author's Note:**

> This work is reposted from Fanfiction.Net
> 
> Not beta-ed, so mistakes are all regretfully mine. 
> 
> This is one of my oldest fics. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. ^^


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